Annoyed but Understandable

RANT POST

Since there is no one I can really rant to, I will rant here.

I was talking to my BFF about Oscar's study funding. Then I said he asked me a few times about how we are going to fund the next few years. Granted that I don't always remember things well. I think I am quite good with money. And I am very sure that I have spoken to him about this before. Whenever I am highly stressed I will rant to him. There was a drinking session that we had that he asked. That was when Oscar first decided to go and we were by my condo pool.

The other time was the dessert, yes I was annoyed and I showed him some attitude and was fierce with him. But I still explained how. I said end of the day really cannot we take bank loan. I was annoyed because he asked it in a tone as though I was a kid.

He is good and reading people, I admit. But unfortunately, he sometimes can read himself. And to add on to that, he tried to ask if he can back out of the bacholerette party. (if he didnt mean that, I felt that way man.) I thought we are all in this together.

He knows that my wife wanted a party because her friends are not as close to her as mine and she felt left out. Since he can read people so well, he already know why I am doing it but he still ask and ask and askkk WTF. Of course I will get angry. Come on. I am already filled with stress.

Not to belittle your stress and your own concerns. But my stress is Fucking real. If I don't earn money, where are we (wife+siblings) going to stay ? What are we going to eat ? Your concerns are real too ! But you dont have to live on the streets and eat bread or nothing at all. Because you will never run out of support !

You dont even have to fucking beg for it. I HAVE TO on the other hand. It's not my fucking fault that you're in denial. You want me to listen to your advice, but you dont even fucking take mine. Thats why nowadays I just listen, I don't give advice anymore.

Sorry for all the vulgarities. But really. Need. to. RANT.

He is not a christian, but he has a holier than thou attitude. Very chauvinistic. He thinks he is always right. He thinks that his philosophy is the way. Yeah be responsible and accountable for everything you say and do. But when you judge others according to how you judge yourself, you will be very disappointed man. The world is full of hypocrites and procrastinators. It is a cycle. People pull their socks up and then they need to rest.

Sometimes I feel like a collector's item, like he is friends with me to brag about how much connection he has with everybody. I mean that's great. BUT NO we are not your items, we don't BELONG to you. NOBODY BELONGS TO YOU. You don't get to be proud and own shit when you "THINK" that you convinced someone to be a non-christian. Or when people "LOOK LIKE" they are "FOLLOWING YOU". NO. BIG NO. That's where your mistake is.  

I will be alright after this. And I won't blame him because he is going through some terrible shit. He is still my BFF, but sometimes I don't know how to tell him all these things. He is already not in the best place in life and sometimes I think that talking like this to him does not help because of 2 reasons.

1. He is dam fucking stubborn and that's born from his fucking hugely inflated ego.
2. He is slipping in and out of depression.

I tried to help to refer to him to counsellors by searching online for NEUTRAL (NON-Christian) counsellors. But thats all. I can bring the horse to the river, its up to the horse to drink.

That's if the horse thinks that it is thirsty.

BUT FUCK MAN.

LIFE IS TOUGH.