Recently, I haven't had much time cus of NS and my lack of drive to do anything is killing me slowly. I've become a lazy person who stays at home and sleep or watch TV serials whenever I have the time. I lost almost all my forex money 3k odd in all. I'm still deciding if I should go back and pump more money in it. This is very bad... I have a lack of funds to do anything I want to do. I refuse to get it from my Parents, cus I have too much pride. I refuse to borrow money. I have no more avenues. I need to earn some cash. Right now, I only have the business to lean on. BUT... I have my doubts on my partner. It is really disappointing to know that he is still in the dilly dally life. He may have achieved quite a few things. But that is only because he ORDed already. I'm going to ORD soon and I'm gonna do so much more. I have big plans. Burning passion to see growth in the company.

 The need to draw funds from various sources is killing me. I need a good proposal and stop bumming around. I came up with 2 drafts and I hope to come up with improved versions so that I can deliver some concrete results. The main question is. How can I draw a crowd of 16 players every game, during weekdays? I need some more advice on certain things... Getting a physical building at town is one of the most important thing to do before I start to develop this business. It's an undervalued market. I need an R&D division to come up with these ideas. It is not going to be an easy path. But I need to do this. Waiting until after I get a degree might be too late.

 Maybe I should be like one of my friends. Do something I like while studying and really excel in both. Get to know more about how the other company works. Re-vitalize this sector and bring up a different image.

I happened to chance upon an article that Chrischow posted on FB. This It was quite true and timely for me. I'm not proud of where I am right now. I am extremely disappointed that I have given in to my personal desire and pleasure that I don't know who I really am. I have indulged in almost everything. I think it's time for me to go back. But how? The roaring lion really threw me off. I need to go back. Yesterday I bumped into Irving and we had a good chat. Could've been longer. He told me that Jeremy was looking for a cell. I invited him to my cell. He did not have the knowledge that I haven't been to cell for awhile. I guess it's HIS way of asking me to go back to church. I am reminded of Psalms 139 again. "Where can I go?"

 Anyway, my really close friend MOSH, invited me to stay with him. He sounded really serious cus he got an extra room. I felt really comforted that I am surrounded by friends who really care. My other close friend TBS, he was there for me all the while. Showing me support and understanding. He wanted me to stay at his place but to reduce complications in his family. He rather I stay out of the fight. But he will always be there to hear my rants and still buy me a beer or treat me to a meal.

These friends are hard to come by. I have a few good friends. Nicklaus,Damien,Gavin,Luke (both of them),Jun Ming(who is in Aust.),Daniel.A,Brian Khoo,Prash,Becky,Daniel.L,Mui Ling,Aunty Lian, Uncle Pek Lim,Ben Tan,Halim,Darren.H,Guo Cheng,Zack and my other army friends(they know who they are) they were the brothers who went thru thick and thin with me at different parts of my life and I appreciate the things they did for me.


 Really blessed.

 Anyway, done ranting. back to work or reading. hahahaha