Taught a lesson on Faith and washing of feet.
Found some guides online and put together those lessons to form 1 topic.
We are currently on a topical devotional material so it can be very abstract and hard to grasp at their level. I have tried my best to create an inclusive lesson for the Sec 1-3's to grasp.
It is quite tough because you have to stimulate their minds on all levels. Therefore, it usually takes about 45 to an hour for me to cover the topic. It is very challenging.

But I find it very fulfilling and addictive to prepare for such lessons. Cus it strengthens what I know and I have been running on a low tank of faith for very long. So it encourages me to read the bible and grow in areas that I have been stagnated.

Currently I'm trying think of a topic to touch on so that it will link back to the previous topics. This will help me them to conceptually grasp what I am talking about and also help them to build on their bible knowledge.

A lot of them have a good foundation from their church and Sunday School and what I feel I should do is to reinforce such teachings. I still can't see myself as a teacher. I am basically conveying and rearranging lessons that have been taught before to present it and share it. That's all.

2 topics come to mind.
1) Faith, Hope and Love. The 3 greatest fruits. We can take a look at hope. Cus it comes after faith.
or
2) Faith lesson 2. We can go in deeper and learn more about faith. And establish the faith of our forefathers, parents and even the apostles.

I prefer the 2nd option because it is very hard to believe in something that I cannot see and hear from everyday. The bible needs to be alive for them. What is one thing that will help me keep my faith intact? Something that can be a constant in my life, the moment I look at it, I remember God's help in my times of need.

Should I go deeper into apologetics? So that when they are shaken they can use this to stump the world that tries to shake their belief or should I enter into personal experience which will be quite subjective and not everyone will be able to understand? So what direction should I take?

This is yet to be revealed but I think after typing this out I am more certain about the direction. I don't want to waste their time. I want to take home something. I want them to be able to talk about it with their parents and ask their parents for a story that they can call their own family's faith journey.

We can use borrowed faith for now because we are still young and most of us don't have the experience with God yet. That said, age is not a factor for faith. But if we do not have or own a life changing experience yet, we can ask our parents for a personal story.

"What made them believe in God?"
"What is one experience that they will always use when they want to come back to God?"

This will help them create valuable dinner table conversations rather than the usual result oriented talks and the surface how is life in school talk. And when there is nothing to say they revert to their default and use their phones instead.

Okay, that's all I have for now. But I hope I am useful. I doubt myself alot haha. Need alot of reassurance from my friends... But....nvm... haha.

Recently, I've been really crazy busy.
I'll be flying off to Hong Kong in a couple of days.
I honestly don't know what I am supposed to do as a bestman.

Organise a STAG party?
Say a few words?

We don't have a car in Hong Kong so we might have to take the public transport for the stag party which is quite lame....

Anyway, I know what to say for my speech, I just don't know when to say.
It's pretty strange, cus I have not been hanging out with them.

But exams are coming and its straight after I come back from Hong Kong.
My brains can no longer take this kind of shocks anymore. HAAAALP.

First it was YAM and I had to take a ferry back halfway just to take my papers.
and now THIS.
I think I just like the feeling of a busy life....Zzzzz
Flying back on the 11th, 12-14 are my exam dates. Woohoooo. Onward!

Anyway, I was quite upset that I was not invited to my friend's wedding, both of whom are my friends. I knew the girl since sec 1 and we kinds grew up together till like she was JC2. We went on mission trips to Chiang Mai every year. Quite sad. I knew the guy since sec 3 when he joined our cell.

Yeah we kinda drifted and stopped talking to each other, but she used to ask about me when I was in church and we used to catch up. But she stopped when she got together with this guy... haha strange but nvm lah. People change ? Or maybe they are just too tired to interact anymore.

Saded. BUT I'm super happy for them ! They finally got married ! And they are gonna have beautiful kids hahaha ! So a hidden congrats to them !

I don't know who still read this but I saw my childhood (sec 3) sweetheart counted right? Anyway, things are weird haha, like we still can't talk normally. Why. And it's weird. But I'll try to normalise things when I get the chance to. Anyway, really happy that she found someone who is pretty stable in terms of emotions and doing life in general. I hope it works out for them. They seem genuinely happy together. And this guy is quite meticulous and romantic lah, so dreamy haha...

I can't believe that I still have the time to blog. 3 theory papers coming up. I hope to score at least distinctions. I got super distracted this sem and I only hope that whatever revision I do now will be retained in my brains.

To the people who know me, I have a bad memory.

Updates on Bubble Soccer Singapore. Quite upset with Singapore law. My direct competitors bought similar domains and confused the market with it. Honestly I'm super pissed. What can I do ?
SGNIC replied to say that I must pay about 2.9k to LODGE a dispute. WHAT?!?

So can I recover this cost when it is ruled that they are in the wrong ?
But I must upfront this fee first....
And they paid for SEO lol. We paid for an inhouse SEO which does not cost a bomb obviously.

Just got asked by a friend to join his accounting firm to be a paperwork warrior....
And potentially a partner in future.
Question is, Big Four or this?
Flexibility vs Overtime.

But one have to work like a dog no matter what.
If I work for my friend I will be able to continue with my business and do accounting at the same time.

If I don't...Zzzz.... But I get to climb the ladder and have a fixed path for life already...
But with no work life balance for the first 10 years. Dilemma.

Okay gotta go!

ciao.

========================================================================
Just one short publicity stunt.
www.Bubblesoccer.sg
This is pretty much what I do for the business. I conduct teambuilding activities and make sure that my customers have loads of fun bumping and rolling around.
It is super safe. You don't have to worry about a soccer ball flying to your nuts or face (if you don't have nuts).

Anyway, thanks for all the support you guys have been showing.

SPH Family Day at Sentosa

JTC Fitness Day at Woodlands Stadium

Event at OFFSIDE 

Oil Tanking Management Staff Teambuilding at Sentosa

Some Ang Moh kids

Teambuilding at OFFSIDE

Have been so busy lately.

I need another break soon.

These are my current commitments:

1. Making Money

• Bubble Soccer
• Forex
• Starting another business soon.

2. Boys' Brigade

• Upkeep the boys badges
• Remember their birthdays
• Worship

3. Young Adults' Ministry

• YAM Retreat 2015 (BATAM)
• Plan for Monthly Takeouts (Food/Worship/Slides Clicker/Laptop)
• Get ready for the end year party or new year party
• Check out Hotels for next year's retreat

4. Carissa

• Fetching her to and fro MCAT
• Spend time listening to her
• Encourage her not to give up her dreams
• Plan for a future with her. To move over to Australia and watch her complete her dream goals.

5. Friends

• Going on outings at least Bi-monthly
• Find my good friend a good Christian girlfriend even though he is not Christian, but he is more Christian than most of us and I hope one day he will see that there is only one God. I can't give all the answers, but God is not cruel, it is the people that He created who are the cruel ones. I hope God finds Him and show Him something miraculous  and he won't be so sceptical and turn a blind eye on that obvious miracle.

6. School

• Assignments
• Exams on 12/13/14 AUG (I'm not sure if I can still do the best man thing. But share load with Choo lah so maybe not so taxing hahahaha. I still think Choo should take up the role. He already do so much for them.... wah lau.)
• Bridging exam this Saturday... Die.
• Report submission this Friday.

School is the least of my concerns now because I have to live life to the fullest. While it is not nice to fail, I feel that going to school is only essential for equipping. As long as I have internalised the various concepts that was taught and it is shown through the way I live my life, I think it has served it's purpose already. To be so caught up in paper chase and then risk losing the golden years of my life, it's not worth it. But I must graduate.

CS LEWIS

Having a bad time right now because, I made the mistake of thinking I can be better than people or even God himself. Was in the toilet when I picked up the book "Mere Christianity" by C.S Lewis.

It was mind changing. I hope I will remember this for the rest of my life.
CS Lewis was on the topic of cardinal virtues. And the part that caught me was from page 79-81 of the book.

Let me take a few parts here and there.

"Someone who is not a good tennis player may now and then take a good shot. What yo mean by a good player is a man.......have been so trained by making innumerable good shots that they now can be relied on. They have a certain tone or quality which is there even when he is not playing. 

Just as a mathematician's mind has a certain habit and outlook which is there even when he is not doing mathematics. In the same way a man who perseveres in doing just actions gets in the end a certain quality of character. Now it is that quality rather than the particular actions which we mean when we talk of a 'virtue.' 

This distinction is important for the following reason. If we though only of the particular actions we might encourage three wrong ideas."

1)Right actions can be done for the wrong reasons. If done with the wrong reason, it does not help to build an internal quality or character called the virtue. The tennis player can hit a winning stroke in anger by luck, but it will not help him to be a reliable person.

2) We might think that God wanted simply obedience to a set of rules: whereas He really wants people of a particular sort.

3) We might think that virtues are only necessary for this present life.

The point us not that God will refuse you admission to His eternal world if you have not got certain qualities of character, the point is that if people had not got at least the beginning of those qualities inside them, then no possible external conditions could make a Heaven for them.

That is, could make them happy with the deep, strong, unshakable kind of happiness God intends for us.

I think the words itself are enough for us to think about the kind of person we want to become. I am struggling with this now. I portray a good image of myself. But i always question myself. "Am I really like that?"

I don't know if God calls me home now, that I will be able to enjoy the things in heaven, the relationships that might be made in heaven.

There's this parable of the people who went to heaven but told God that they want to go to hell cus they cannot take what is in heaven. I pray that I will be moulded and I won't be like the people who asked God to send them to hell because they can't take heaven.

This blog is really good. No one comes except for me. And even if people came, they are the ones who don't know who I am.

Ciaoz gotta study for my second test. Hope I don't fail. 

It has been a long while.

After a crazy roller coaster of things happening here and there. Bubble Soccer, very rarely Laser Tag. Back at Boys' Brigade. Serving at the Young Adults Ministry at Barker. Exams are coming up in 1 month's time. Tests are next week. Tough stuff. 

The uncertainty of going to New Zealand with the fiance is starting to make me think. So many things going on with so little time. And the worse thing is I'm probably going into another business that will limit my time even more. 

Sometimes it's so crazy I just stop and listen to John Mayer and stare into space. 

I can't stop the ministries given to me. They are largely BB and YAM. I can forgo all others but not these 2. Still recovering from the lousy devotions I did with the last parade. Could've done better. But I hope they get the message. It is true that the crowd in schools nowadays need more to excite them. But how to do that without diluting the message? I don't know. 

Siblings are going overseas. Next week my youngest sis the baby of the family is leaving us for foundational studies in Trinity College at Melbourne. She will be gone for at least 4 years together with my other sister in Perth. Oscar will be gone for 5 years next year to Adelaide for Dentistry. 

The house will be empty, it's crazy. I'll be as good as the only child. That's not my greatest worry. My greatest worry is that Mum and Dad may not be able to keep up with the finances. I might need to work harder. Sometimes you don't know how much more you can push yourself you know? 

But thank God the money from the government grants for my business is in. We can use it to expand our business and possibly earn more money. 

My last worry is my really good friend. Been praying for him since Poly year 1. 

I just hope a miracle happens. I don't know what I can do to make life a little teeny bit better. 

I hope he finds really good mature friends who will give him sound advice (not that I am, I just listen tbh. I don't do much.) 

People go through bad patches in life but when yours start at a very young age and you are forced to rely on yourself, you tend to have a very different thinking. Mostly individualistic behaviour because there are trust issues and the thinking that no one will ever back you up but yourself. 

I think I was not really there for him in the first place. Not even sure if he deems me as his best friend. But he is mine. lol. He gives one of the best advices and support IMO. Most times better than my churchies but people grow up eventually. 

But you know, life is such that you have to be vulnerable to people before they open up to you and trust you. And one day we need to rely on each other's support to survive in this dark dark world. I wish I was a kid again. I remember not so long ago when I was P6 that I thought to myself, how good if life can always be this way. But life is about growing up and not letting our past shadow what we do now. Heroes don't talk about their past. 

I just pray that somehow Jesus reveals himself to this close friend of mine, in whatever way I don't know. I definitely know that its not because I prayed or talked to him that he will come to know Christ but it's truly from the deepest recess of His heart that he feels Christ showing him love and comfort. 

And 30 years down the road I want us to be sitting at some BBQ party talking about the days of the past and doing the same ministry and that is to continue to help others. Even if he doesn't believe, his fire to help the less fortunate will always burn for the right reasons. 

Anyway, run the good race and fight the good fight, win or lose, just do it and see where it gets us. 

Press on. (talking to myself since no one reads this.) 

Blessing in disguise that this blog is dead. lol. 

#returnourCPF is a trap.

Yes, most Singaporeans are asset rich with limited liquidity. But we can't just listen to one side and conclude. Yet most of us do because that is a convenient thing to do. Ride on the wave of intellects and you'll never go wrong. As long a a person sounds smart while going against the government, we will support him. Really? Are we that shallow?

I remember some time back before my grandparents became followers of Christ. They gave me all sorts of ridiculous stories heard from friends. All sorts of questions about why christians behave badly even after getting baptised. All it takes was one question. "Have you personally accepted Jesus as your Lord and walk a blameless life according to what is written in the bible?" In short, "did you give Jesus a chance?"

It took awhile for this question to sink into them and search the recesses of their hearts before they were willing to give Jesus a try. Maybe I have just turned you off with a religious example. But I hope you will be patient with me.

In the same way, have we done enough research on our own to say the truth for once? (reading alternative news is not a fair source BTW. No one should be able to convince you. No one but FACTS.) How do you know for sure that what ROY and HHH have presented are facts? I am not saying he is a liar. I am asking whether you can confirm it.

One thing I notice about people is people are rationale beings. They think and they plan for a future in their lives. However, circumstances has it that they have no choice but to spend and sometimes even empty their savings. There are tons of these persons when you visit rental flats and homes. These are truly the marginalised. But I don't see them actively participating in going against the government. In fact, they work hard and encourage their kids to work hard to escape the cycle.

Most of these people flaming the government. Now what sort of agenda do you think they have? They try to fan the flames with unsupported allegations. They tried to be "accountable" for the public monies raised but have they been transparent? Rather than saving this money, their supporters donate what limited resources they have to fund the lives of Roy and HHH. (they are jobless)

I am not an avid supporter of PAP policies especially the educational policies that are in place. But even this is starting to change. I digress.

Coming back  to the point of why #returnourCPF movement is a trap. Many of us know the income inequality GAP that is widening in Singapore. However, we need to see the facts. When we release the floodgates of CPF monies. Do you honestly think that people with ZERO financial knowledge will handle it well and retire well?

We have a few examples of how the old folks are easily cheated by forces that is not within our control.

Can Roy and HHH support you financially when you have spent all your CPF monies "wisely" and retire as a pauper? I believe they will be the first one to disappear.

Who will have to support you? The government.

With who's money? Taxpayers money.

How can we provide for the sudden increase of poverty? Raise taxes.

Who will be unhappy? The people who have worked very hard for a better life. And this is when the incumbent would have fallen into a trap. But no I believe we have smart people who will do their job with due diligence.

Who will benefit the most? No one. Even Roy and HHH they are jobless and they rely on the "poor" remember?

When their ploy unfolds, do you think they will still receive funding? No. they will have to work their way up. Back to square one.

It is easy for us to say that we will be able to handle our own affairs. But the government is having a hard time as well. They are facing the numbers everyday. The question is what can you a citizen of Singapore do to help? Talk is cheap.

Why don't they give you 15k a month to do their job and let the public scrutinise your life? Would you like that?

There is also wisdom in steering clear of Roy and HHH. That is essentially one of the wisest thing the opposition parties have done.

I'm one ranting.

Back to working hard.

Ciaoz

"Brainstorming is a group or individual creativity technique by which efforts are made to find a conclusion for a specific problem by gathering a list of ideas spontaneously contributed by its member(s). The term was popularized by Alex Faickney Osborn in the 1963 book Applied Imagination. Osborn claimed that brainstorming was more effective than individuals working alone in generating ideas, although more recent research has questioned this conclusion.^[1] Today, the term is used as a catch all for all group ideationsessions." -Wikipedia

Oh really?

So I told someone about my business plans and I was berated with, I got a bad feeling. 

I said join us for discussions. 

"NO!" the person shot back. 

I said okay, so how should we look at it. 

"Don't collaborate with them!"

I said okay then we just meet up to make sure that we know how to lay the foundation for the industry, no agreements will be made to split profit. We'll go our own separate ways. 

"I told you already, not to do these things, focus on your studies." 

But that's why I'm selling my company and passing my responsibilities on to someone else. 

More irrational screaming. 

I am at a loss. Not knowing what to do. I shouted and I kept repeating my point that nothing is cast into stone. I just wanted to hear your opinion. Not you screaming about how I didn't listen to you and how you're always right... 

I sped home and almost got into a fight with a cabbie. We go to the road shoulder and I saw his car camera. Not wanting to be famous overnight. I drove away. I am so tired. 

Enough... its enough...

I am tired. 

I supported your dreams even when people around you cast so much doubt and fear. Even when you started to doubt yourself. I said go. I encouraged you. Not to study but to go for your dreams. That in the process requires you to study. 

But for me, I am expected to study just like you in order to do what I like and what I want. 

But I went a step further. I am tapering down my responsibilities already. But no. Not enough. You just keep pushing me. I've decided to sell everything. 

Haven't had my lunch and it still hurts deeply (no link I know). The person you were so vulnerable with, whom you trusted the most stabbed you. But it feels as though a thousand knives went through me. It's crazy. 

I will not allow history to repeat. 

Recently, I haven't had much time cus of NS and my lack of drive to do anything is killing me slowly. I've become a lazy person who stays at home and sleep or watch TV serials whenever I have the time. I lost almost all my forex money 3k odd in all. I'm still deciding if I should go back and pump more money in it. This is very bad... I have a lack of funds to do anything I want to do. I refuse to get it from my Parents, cus I have too much pride. I refuse to borrow money. I have no more avenues. I need to earn some cash. Right now, I only have the business to lean on. BUT... I have my doubts on my partner. It is really disappointing to know that he is still in the dilly dally life. He may have achieved quite a few things. But that is only because he ORDed already. I'm going to ORD soon and I'm gonna do so much more. I have big plans. Burning passion to see growth in the company.

 The need to draw funds from various sources is killing me. I need a good proposal and stop bumming around. I came up with 2 drafts and I hope to come up with improved versions so that I can deliver some concrete results. The main question is. How can I draw a crowd of 16 players every game, during weekdays? I need some more advice on certain things... Getting a physical building at town is one of the most important thing to do before I start to develop this business. It's an undervalued market. I need an R&D division to come up with these ideas. It is not going to be an easy path. But I need to do this. Waiting until after I get a degree might be too late.

 Maybe I should be like one of my friends. Do something I like while studying and really excel in both. Get to know more about how the other company works. Re-vitalize this sector and bring up a different image.

I happened to chance upon an article that Chrischow posted on FB. This It was quite true and timely for me. I'm not proud of where I am right now. I am extremely disappointed that I have given in to my personal desire and pleasure that I don't know who I really am. I have indulged in almost everything. I think it's time for me to go back. But how? The roaring lion really threw me off. I need to go back. Yesterday I bumped into Irving and we had a good chat. Could've been longer. He told me that Jeremy was looking for a cell. I invited him to my cell. He did not have the knowledge that I haven't been to cell for awhile. I guess it's HIS way of asking me to go back to church. I am reminded of Psalms 139 again. "Where can I go?"

 Anyway, my really close friend MOSH, invited me to stay with him. He sounded really serious cus he got an extra room. I felt really comforted that I am surrounded by friends who really care. My other close friend TBS, he was there for me all the while. Showing me support and understanding. He wanted me to stay at his place but to reduce complications in his family. He rather I stay out of the fight. But he will always be there to hear my rants and still buy me a beer or treat me to a meal.

These friends are hard to come by. I have a few good friends. Nicklaus,Damien,Gavin,Luke (both of them),Jun Ming(who is in Aust.),Daniel.A,Brian Khoo,Prash,Becky,Daniel.L,Mui Ling,Aunty Lian, Uncle Pek Lim,Ben Tan,Halim,Darren.H,Guo Cheng,Zack and my other army friends(they know who they are) they were the brothers who went thru thick and thin with me at different parts of my life and I appreciate the things they did for me.


 Really blessed.

 Anyway, done ranting. back to work or reading. hahahaha

Entered long into EUR/USD at 1.29500 to scoop up a few pips before going short at 1.30. But i was heading to Malaysia and I was afraid that my prediction would be wrong. So I set my stop loss at 1.29450. I was disappointed to see that my stop was triggered and it rebounded to 1.30. My current position is a short at 1.3. Looking at current news and moving averages. I plan to hold it till next Friday. I suspect it will hold. This prediction was done with my studies on moving averages over a month. I used a daily time frame. Will be following the headlines closely for signs of price change. Xavier.

Just Got on the Forex bandwagon in July- September. Opened an account with Phillips Futures and deposited SGD 3000. I made an initial loss of about SGD 1500 due to my lack of diligence and knowledge. I started with Technical analysis and fundamental trading with Investopedia and random web browsing led me to Forexlive It was a very adventurous start with stupid entries and exits from my trades. But I matured as time passed and money burned. I started to realise the importance of orderboards and the significance of technical trading. I started to learn how to hold certain losses and when to let go of the other losses I made. I realise that emotions can really mess up a trade that you have intentionally planned. Nowadays I am revisiting theories from technical analysis and applying them hand in hand with orderboards and Headlines. Though the market could already be discounted. I learn to squeeze a few pips out. I'm still trying to play with back to back orders that carries a risk of reversal trends. Army really prevents you from moving on with whatever you want to do in life. I will be out for the next 3 days and will be back on Friday night. I hope to get a good schedule. I have to rely on my sister to key in trades for me, for now. Xavier

Sometimes when we reach a certain height in wherever we are.
We get a little cocky... we acquire an air around us...
It sucks... I hope I'll never be like that.
The worst thing is, we don't know we have it and no one says anything.

But if ever our friends tell us, we swipe it aside.
It's just a passing comment.
Sometimes friendships turn sour and when we look back,
we wasted time. We could still be friends.

Maybe I'm thinking the whole scenario in my mind.

See this is life.
Imagine someone puts it too strongly to you.
You might even feel discouraged.
I think I would.

If a low confidence friend thru your encouragement came out of his hole.
And he saw that being confident have it's pros.
He starts to become so confident till it reaches a point of arrogance.
What do you do?
You know it's potentially dangerous for him but you don't want to burst his bubble.
Now that's hard right?
Haha so I guess I should tone it down and be humble then...
Hopefully he sees it and he changes too :)

I'm not a very humble person anyway.
I too, am a arrogant white horse.

signing off,
Xavier

I was just thinking.
Is the company capable enough?
Capable enough to be scalable?
Capable enough to be the biggest laser tag service provider in Singapore?
We are getting known, no doubt.
But at what speed?
We need to come back again to synchronise our steps again.
So that we don't step on each others toes.

What I want the company to cater.
We want to do a lot of things.
We want to be able to cater to all demographics.
How are we going to make our company exclusive.

Although we sell our tea for $1 compared to $5 Starbucks coffee.
What is our selling point?
To make our games affordable and to share the fun of laser tag.
Both friendly to the young and the old.
We are definitely student friendly.

What are some of the skills that we possess that we can sell?
Teamwork?
How do we do that?
Do we have a lesson plan for each game?
Can we learn through that?

We need to define the path we choose.

Emo. I HOPE the clothes thing won't come back again.
Nvm. When I enter army. I can't see shit.
She can wear anything she wants :(

Having a bad day today.
Gonna try smiling it away to keep myself positive.
Just wanna give up LT.
But I can't I have so much to prove with that.
Family, Friends and My Future UNI.

This is life, it a process of maturity to be able to fight for the things that matter.
And pull back for those that don't really matter.

Well I had a great day yesterday.
Spent much of my time with Carissa.
Macdonalds for brunch, chicken rice for lunch and popcorn, nachos and MOS burgers for dinner.
A day well spent.

Feel much further away from God.
Did things that are not pleasing to Him.
Knew it but pushed it aside.
I just pray that God would take this "disease" away from me.

Trying to do something with my life.
But I'm so lazy.
Better wake up from this nightmare soon.

I wished I was 5.
I went everywhere with no worries.
Did everything with child-like innocence.

Growing up is tough.

I hate SMSing...
Why can't people just call?
Must type so long to explain...
It's like neverending smses... just keep coming...

And whats up with the stupid questions on facebook?
Read the description and you will know what the group is all about!?
KK chill... Must be the weather.

Had a good lunch with Carissa at pizzahut
LOVED IT :)
Talked about our future and how I'm so excited about the future.

But,
"Do not boast about tomorrow,
for you do not know what a day may bring forth."
Proverbs 27:1 NIV

So here I am, back to reality.
If I really want a future for us,
I must wake up, start studying and earn some cash.

Stop being sticky and judgmental.
Treat everything with love.
I've yet to grasp the the true meaning of love.
I hope I do soon.
I want to pray for self-control and discipline.
To pass my NAPFA and SAT with Gold and 1900 at least.

Should I continue with Laser Tag?
But it feels like a lost cause to me.
I'll Do what I have to do and see how.

Dear God,
Help me to have a greater passion for you.

Came across this:

A son asks his father, "What can you tell me about politics? I have to learn about it for school tomorrow. "
The father thought some and said,

"OK, son, the best way I can describe politics is to use an analogy.
Let's say that I'm a capitalist because I'm the breadwinner.
Your mother will be the government because she controls everything,
our maid will be the working class because she works for us,
you will be the people because you answer to us,
and your baby brother will be the future. Does that help any?"

The little boy said, "Well, Dad, I don't know, but I'll think about what you said."
Later that night, after everyone had gone to bed,
the little boy was awaken by his baby brother's crying.
Upon further investigation, he found a dirty diaper.

So, he went down the hall to his parent's bedroom and found his father's side of the bed empty
and his mother wouldn't wake up.
Then he saw a light on in the guest room down the hall,
and when he reached the door,
he saw through the crack that his father was in bed with the maid.
The son then turned and went back to bed.

The next morning, he said to his father at the breakfast table,
"Dad, I think I understand politics much better now."
"Excellent, my boy," he answered, "What have you learned?"
The little boy thought for a minute and said,
"I learned that capitalism is screwing the working class,
government is sound asleep ignoring the people, and the future's full of crap. "

Although I can't vote.
I'm not pro opposition or pro PAP.
I'm rooted for the one who shows servant leadership.
Someone who will apologise to his people and move on.
Not cover up or act "macho".

On a side note.
I love my girlfriend.

Xavier

We do what we do out of love and sometimes,
how we hurt so much when we commit so much.
But we still push on for love.
To show the world what love is.
I hope it'll followthrough.

She knows my blog. I told her awhile back.
No one reads this blog other than me, or so I thought.
She reads it too.
After every 2 days we fight.
The trend is coming back.
We will tire ourselves out again.
Like what she said better to see each other over the weekends only.
So she can concentrate on studying.
Been trying to do that.
Did pretty well last week.
Only met her in the morning for 2 days.

We agreed we said things cus of raging emotions and to get attention from one another.
We agreed to move on.
Looking back at my posts I know why you're pissed.
I understand.
I hope one day we can read them as relics or history books that will remind us not to be like that to each other.
Cus it's hurtful.

This break will help us see each other in better light I hope.

Mum made awesome lunch.
Trying to live each day with less thoughts about you is my greatest challenge right now.
When I enjoy things I do, I will think about how we would enjoy it.
WHen I hate it, I promise myself not to include you.
Constant thoughts of you are driving me insane.

Xavier

I wanna remember the best times we had together.
The times where I surprised her at random places.
WIth candles, food and humble gifts.
We had the best time during our stay in Sentosa:)
Spending quiet times walking down the beach together.
Have late breakfasts and awesome lunches and dinners.
I felt very special.
But the way you make everyone feel special kinda marginalized me.
I know I'm getting way more. DUH.
When you make other girls feel special I'm like whatever....
But when you make other guys feel special, I rage inside.
But there's a tiny battle that happens in my mind...
Fighting the rage with memories and assurance.
It's just worse when you don't mind standing arm to arm with another guy
when there's SO MUCH SPACE.

I remember when I was 14 and I was in the train.
This hot girl accidentally brushed my hands and it felt like heaven.
And when some hot girl take notice of me and even takes the initiative to text me first
IT FELT LIKE THE BEST THING ON EARTH.
THE GUYS AGREED WITH ME ON THAT.
SO I KNOW I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO FELT THAT WAY.

BOTTOMLINE. When you're attached be less touchy with other sex to escape unnecessary problems.