grandfather and grandson

Taking a bus back after dropping the car off for repairs at Chai Chee. Saw how a grandfather interacted with his grandson. It was such a precious moment. And I realised that my daughters will never get that kind of relationship with Carissa or my parents. And grief set in again. Cant shake it off. 

Dreamt that I video called Oscar last night and we had the usual brotherly banter and laughter in the conversation. It was nice. But alas, I have to wake up from my dream to fetch hannah to school. It was a sad realisation that in reality my relationship with my brother has worsen. 

Wrote a long note to everyone on my new iPad air M3. A lot have changed since my last update. Olivia, my youngest daughter was born on 20th March. My youngest sister's birthday. Olivia's 30 days happen to fall on my birthday. And her 100 days is on Carol and Matthew's wedding. 

Will update more later.

My brother is a disappointment

The community that you have at home for over 20 years is defeated and gone. Forgotten. Over roots that you built over 4 years.

When you left for Adelaide, the expectation was for you to come home. But when you graduated amd got gf now wife, you tell me that I didnt state that you must come back.

You know how ridiculous this sounds, we are fighting over why you dont want to come back for family. Instead of the fighting over money or anything else.

From the reaction you are showing me right now, you are telling me that you are not willing to give the better part of your life for us.

When carol had her salary, she set aside 500 for herself and everything else for you. When I earn and save, my bank account keeps dropping below 3k even with a daughter, whenever I sent money to you.

You remember you told me it was a mistake sending you to Adelaide. I now know it was a mistake to send you to Adelaide.

Because you're egoistic, narcissistic selfish piece of shit.

I wrote a different speech for your wedding because I didnt want people to see you for who you are. I wanted people to focus only on the good of you. But you are anything but.

I hope you dont build a life with your gf now wife for 20 years and leave her just like how you left us.

I could easily said leave and cleave and leave you with parents too. Let you rot with them. But I didnt.

And you would just abandon us like that.

This is not me guilt tripping you. Dont worry. This is me telling you everything for what it is.

You truly dont deserve whatever that was given to you. 

Why does it suck so much to see my brother taking CNY photos with his wife's family? He has no loyalty. No care for the family who gave everything to him. He has forgotten us.